Reunions: A Summer Requisite

Definition of a reunion:

1. An instance of two or more people coming together again after a period of separation

2. A social gathering attended by members of a certain group of people who have not seen each other for some time
   

I have to admit, the thought of a reunion fills me with trepidation. I'm an introvert and the idea of spending hours talking to people I haven't seen in a long time and don't necessarily know well, is daunting. Sometimes it’s hard to work up enthusiasm to go to a reunion. It can bring back memories you'd rather forget. You might dread seeing someone you didn't like in the past. Self-confidence may be lacking. You can't/shouldn't/won't take the time out of your busy schedule. But I've found it's always worth the effort.

Summer is a time for reunions. I don't know if it's because the weather is better for travel, or the sunshine makes people want to connect. Maybe it's because some of the gatherings get so large that the outdoors is the only practical place to hold the event and that needs to happen in nice weather. Most people don't want to hang out in the snow. (Except skiers and snowboarders, but that's a different post.)

Photo by L. Wagner

At a family reunion you are surrounded by the people that are related to you by blood or marriage. You didn’t choose them, but they share the rich history of belonging to your family, whether large or small. Some of you grew up together, played together, got into scrapes together and faced grandpa's wrath together. Where else do you get to hear the funny stories about Aunt Toots or Uncle Joe? Family stories are passed down orally and it's so much easier to facilitate this process when everyone is together. This is also the place to share recipes. Grandma's huckleberry pie. Auntie's zucchini casserole. Great Grandma's kuchen and oatmeal patties. Grandpa's beer battered halibut. There's something innately satisfying about watching your grandchildren play with your cousin's grandchildren while taking a moment to devour the same food you did as a child. By far, my favorite thing about a family reunion is to sit back and observe. The memories are priceless.

Class reunions are very different. You bring together a group of people, most who haven’t seen each other for many years. There will still be small pockets who've stayed in touch. It’s interesting to watch the dynamics at the five- and ten-year reunions versus those that happen later. Classmates are still trying to prove themselves in their families and careers in the early years. By the 20-year reunion, most of us have learned that life is more about the relationships and less about the "stuff". At the 30-year reunion and beyond, people are just happy to get back together with one another, reminiscing about the many shared experiences from their childhood and high school

years. The numbers start dwindling and we grudgingly face our own mortality.

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Reunions also organically happen when a family member or close friend passes. The common refrain heard is how sad it is that everyone only gets together during this time. Our lives get so busy with work and raising our families that we sometimes forget that it is the simple human connections that matter the most.

My favorite reunion to observe (or participate in) is when military servicepeople come home from deployment. Their friends and family are waiting with barely suppressed anticipation. They stand and watch the walkway, checking the reader board or their cell phone to see if the plane has landed. Some hold decorated signs or banners, thanking the soldier for their service. Strangers stop to watch. Children run around, sensing the adult's excitement. The returning soldier walks down the hallway with their bag hung over their shoulder. It gets dropped as they're smothered with rib crushing hugs, firm handshakes and many kisses. Welcome home!

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I’m looking forward to the greatest reunion of all when we'll see those who’ve gone before us. All other reunions will pale in comparison. What a wonderful day that will be. Take the time and energy to go out of your way and attend the reunions looming on your calendar. Nobody cares if you've gained weight, or your hair is sprinkled with gray. The lines around your eyes just mean you've had a lot to smile about. So put in the effort. Make the trip. Family, friends and classmates want to connect with you. The rewards will surprise you.